


A (Idiot) Human In Disguise

by welcometothisday



Series: Human(s) In Disguise [1]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Adrenaline Makes People Do Crazy Things, Armor, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Comedy, Confusion, Crack, Female Character of Color, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Giant Robots, Hispanic Character, Human in Disguise, Largely Inspired by Transformers Prime, Motorcycles, OC Is Running Around Without a Clue, Original Character(s), Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Possible Voice Kink, Punch a Jet, Robots In Disguise, Slice of Life, WHHEEEEE!, questionable life choices, questionable sanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-23 23:13:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19160965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/welcometothisday/pseuds/welcometothisday
Summary: You know that urge you get to write something spontaneously without much forethought? Yeah, this is it.A one shot about a human who secretly helps Autobots with their war against Decepticons....Famous last words.





	A (Idiot) Human In Disguise

 

Maristella Milagros had no idea what just happened. All she’d been doing, was looking out the window to her bedroom to yell at whoever was making that blasted noise when, not far from the backyard of her house in the countryside, when she saw a plane in the distance shooting at a truck. Both of them turned into giant, metallic people with glowing eyes.

Maybe it was just because she was so damned tired that she did possibly the most inexplicable thing imaginable.

Her mother caught her walking out the back, and called her name. It was way too early in the morning for this. She needed massive sleep. “Don’t worry, first I’m going to church, and then I’m going to see my therapist. Nothing big or anything.”

Actually there was something big, and it had a weirdly nice voice too. Strolling out, she saw the red and blue robot thingy (because describing people and things as thingys was always the best course of action) fighting a black and purple one. The purple one seemed a lot more violent than the red and blue one. She really, really had no clue what was going on, but those things, people, were likely to get someone else hurt with that kind of behavior-

Why did one of them just take out a giant, glowing sword? Was that a giant lightsaber? Her brain was melting. Yep, she definitely needed to pray for her sanity, and go to her therapist. Giant, transforming car robots did _not_ exist…

But if they did, it didn’t really hurt much when she sighed, took out the car keys to one of the cars to be scrapped by her father, ignited the engine, and had it plow into the one with the purple markings. Oh, and she had hastily written a paper note onto the front asking for them to keep it down. What? They were loud, and she wanted some damned sleep.

Both of the robots looked to the vehicle, the note on it, and where she had been standing previously. Thank goodness she still had some brains and piece of mind to hide, even if it was from her imagination. Maristella had enough problems at this point and really didn’t need this, any of it.

“What the-?” the purple one asked, only to get punched by the red and blue one. Good god, the purple one’s voice was high pitched, and extremely annoying. She needed earplugs. Where were they again? There were some more clashes until Maristella heard the purple one say, “Curse you Optimus Prime! Until we meet again!”

Maristella did her best to pretend everything was normal (disregarding her sleep-induced hallucination) and went about her day as if nothing had ever changed. Because it didn’t. There were no vehicles that transformed into giant robots. She’d just had too much coffee to drink, that was all.

…Her brother and father were going to kill her for wrecking that car.

 

* * *

 

 

Maristella Milagros was, shockingly enough, _not_ dead.

According to investigators, it looked like part of the car had hit a mountain, and the other torn to pieces. Worse yet, people from the government appeared. Just act normal. Just act normal. Nothing happened. She just, pretended that she imagined it all.

 

* * *

 

 

She hadn’t imagined it. Apparently there was a group of them, both those things had groups. She hadn’t meant to walk by an alleyway with the giant robots there, including the one with the gorgeous voice. Nope, instead she just walked on by, pretending she saw nothing without even daring to look.

So, how did she know if she didn’t actually see them? Their voices had something electric and mechanical about them. She would know, her family was full of mechanics and electricians and repairmen. They were steady jobs that people of all kinds needed. There was no end to it, and it was disturbingly safer than working in fields or on a farm.

Still, she rushed into the nearby diner, hoping no one saw her, or at least they’d brush her off.

…No one came for her.

 

* * *

 

Why were there helicopter and jet robots?! Who in their right minds designed these things?! And why did the pickup truck have to seem so bloody nice?!

He was shielding their town with the other robots, shouting things to a “Megatron” and “Starscream.” Maristella couldn’t decide if those names were lame or not.

The robots shielding the town also yelled things about “power beyond comprehension,” and “apex armor”? Whelp, time to be an idiot. Covering her face with a mask, putting on her father’s gloves, and tightly fastening her brother’s motorcycle gear (which including helmet and padding), she hopped onto a motorcycle from the junkyard, and grabbed the package, leading the bad robots away from the town.

“Autobots, roll out!”

The hell was an Autobot? No, wait, these things…Were real. She had to face the fact that they were real, and she wanted to help them. But how she possibly stand up to a jet or whatever these people were? They were metal and death, and she was squishy, really squishy. The kind of squishy that did not like dying!

One of them shot the back wheel of her motorcycle, and Maristella was grateful that her brother’s old gear shielded her from the impact. Her breath was knocked out from her, but she steadied herself, sitting up and trying to stand. There was no roadburn, but that didn’t make the ground any softer.

A little over a hundred feet away were Megatron and Starscream, the Autobots behind them. The truck, "Optimus Prime," was speeding faster than the rest of his group. But, they wouldn't make it to her in time. Maristella looked at the box in her hands, wishing for a way to fight.

That’s when it transformed into a coil like thing, light surrounding her. Standing was easier, likely because of the armor the box had become.

So, the first thing she did, was punch the jet. It felt good, really good.

Then, she kicked the whiny one between the legs. Wait, did robots even have parts there? From how he groaned and fell, she guessed that they had _something_.

Oh, getting plowed by a jet wasn’t fun by the way. Holding her head, she sat up once more, to see the scary one, Megatron, striding towards her. “You dare-“

He didn’t even get a chance to finish as Maristella flipped him off, and ran for it. Reaching a cave, she whispered, begging, “Transform. Transform. Transform!”

Thank goodness for those years she played baseball with her family. It helped her learn how to slide on bases, _and_ into caves as the armor turned back into a box within her arms. WHHEEEE!

Dear God, she really had lost her mind. She was supposed to be an adult, damn it!

Megatron roared with rage, and she traveled deeper into the cave where the giant beings couldn’t reach.

Changing into something no one in her family had ever worn (and she hoped was as gender neutral as the motorcycle padding), she left the box just inside the police station during one of their donut breaks.

Later when she passed by in her civilian guise, it was being taken by government agents.

 

* * *

 

Bruises hurt, especially on the hips and ribs. Maristella hoped she didn’t have a concussion, but walking around did make her feel dizzy. Sitting down in the diner, she ordered a coffee with a couple of cookies.

Walking into the church felt almost dreamlike as she entered the confessional.

“How may I help you, my dear child?”

She shut her eyes, “My father, I fear I’m losing my mind.”

“How so?”

No, this may be a confessional, but there were still things she shouldn’t directly say. “I saw strangers fighting, with one wishing harm on innocents. I am not a fighter, but I did something foolish. I disguised myself, and pretended that I could be one. I’ve helped the protectors without them knowing who I am. I’m not sure if I want them to know. I am conflicted on how I should act.”

The priest collected himself. “Have you contacted those who can fight? Police?”

“I doubt they can in help this instance,” she chuckled bitterly. It would almost be amusing to see the town police try to stand up to one of them, but all? “I, I’ve never seen people like these before. I’m not part of their world. They aren’t of mine. This isn’t my fight.”

“My child,” he uttered. “Murder is a sin, but fighting for the right thing, rarely ever is. In Ecclestiastes, it is said, ‘There is…a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.’ Perhaps you are not a fighter, but you are of a kind heart enough to help strangers you believe you have no part of.”

His voice softened, sounding conflicted. “The best advice I can give you is: ’There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called,’ ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself’, and ‘When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them.’”

She nodded, even if she wasn’t sure he could see her.

“Though these are strange people in your life, treat them as your family and you would yourself,” he confided. “Help when you can, dear child, but remember who you are, so you can remember who they are. All were created equally, thus none should be left behind.”

Maristella sighed, “Thank you, Father. May I join you in prayer?”

She needed it.

 

* * *

 

The next time she found them, she hadn’t even tried. They had yet to notice her as they spoke of things such as “Allspark,” “Decepticons,” and “Cybertron.”

Maristella Milagros wasn’t a fighter, a soldier, or even anywhere as brave as she thought she should be, but she knew that she would never just stand by and watch when there was wrongdoing.

“Autobots, roll out!”

Grinning, she donned an old helmet once more, and rode near them before they could transform, and sped ahead, only turning slightly to wave at them.

 

* * *

 

“Who do you think that is, Optimus?” Bumblebee asked, piecing his broken radio phrases to form the words he needed to speak.

Watching the strange human drive into the sunset, Optimus said, “I can only assume, that they are an ally.”

“So, roll out?”

The leader of the Autobots nodded, “Roll out.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> It's a slightly different take on the human sidekick thing where everybody in the Autobots knows who the humans are. The trope gets used so much.
> 
> I just thought it'd be kind of cool/funny if the Autobots had an ally that they didn't know the identity of.


End file.
